Do you regularly feel pain or discomfort before or during sex? If you feel deep, sharp, or burning sensations before, during, or after sex, you may have dyspareunia. Dyspareunia may be felt externally in the vulvar area before the start of intercourse, internally in the pelvis or vagina and its surrounding areas. Sex should never be painful or uncomfortable. If you feel any pain or discomfort with sexual activities, internally or externally, you may have dyspareunia.
What causes painful sex?
The cause of your pain depends on when you experience it. Sometimes there is not enough lubrication due to a number of factors including not being adequately aroused, medications, hormonal changes during postpartum, lactation or perimenopause.. Painful sex can also be caused by a number of things that affect the muscles in your pelvic floor including pregnancy, childbirth, past surgeries, and inflammatory conditions. Infections of the vagina or vulva, like a yeast infection or bacterial vaginitis, can also cause painful sex. Your mental health plays a role, too: if you’re dealing with things like stress, anxiety, depression, or relationship issues, sex might feel uncomfortable or painful.
Tips?
Communication with your partner! It is important that your partner knows what you are feeling, both good and bad. If certain positions are causing discomfort or pain, let your partner know and try to find other positions that are not painful.
Lube. Lube. Lube. Lubrication is an important part of sex. There is no shame in using lubrication. Lubrication helps to decrease friction and irritation that can occur with both non penetrative and penetrative sex. There are a variety of types of lubricants to choose from. Water-based are a great option to start with if you are new to using lube. Silicone-based lubes tend to last longer than water-based. If you are already using lubricants and still finding things to be dry, painful, or uncomfortable, be sure to talk to your provider. If you are breastfeeding or in perimenopause or postmenopause, sometimes the lack of estrogen in the vagina and vulva is too much for just lube, and you may need a prescription to help.
Allow plenty of time for foreplay. Foreplay allows your body time to warm up and helps blood flow to the muscles and tissues in your vagina and vulva, which allows them to be more relaxed and increases natural lubrication. Foreplay also allows time to help your brain and body to feel more connected with your partner. When you feel more connected, it helps you to feel safe and relaxed. When your body does not feel safe and relaxed, it can make the muscles in your pelvic area feel tight, which can cause pain and discomfort. Foreplay starts outside of the bedroom. Little acts of kindness and connection throughout the day can help you to feel close to your partner and more relaxed when it is time for sex.
Talk to your healthcare provider. Depending on what kind of pain you are experiencing, they may be able to make recommendations, prescribe medications, refer you to a pelvic floor therapist, or help direct you to the right specialist. Of course, while pain during intercourse isn’t a serious medical emergency, if you’re experiencing recurrent discomfort or pain during intercourse, don’t feel pressured to continue to live with it or push through. There is help available, and you’re not alone in needing some support.
Sources
- Mayo Clinic Staff. “Painful intercourse (dyspareunia)” MayoClinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, Jan 2015. Web.
- “When Sex is Painful.” ACOG. FAQ020, May 2011 from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, May 2011. Web.
- OBOS Sexuality & Relationships Contributors. “Pain During Intercourse or Penetration.” OurBodiesOurselves. Our Bodies Ourselves, Feb 2015. Web.
- “When sex gives more pain than pleasure.” Harvard. Harvard University, May 2012. Web.
