The road to conception is full of ups, and downs, and ups, and downs, but these are 11 feelings that just about every woman who is trying to conceive can relate to.
The 11 stages of feelings when trying to conceive
You’ve finally decided to try to get pregnant, which is a weird switch from everything you’ve done before this point to avoid it. You keep questioning yourself: “Am I really ready to have a kid? Should I have saved more money? Advanced further in my career? Is now the right time?” This is a big transition for you.
It’s finally sunk in: you’re officially trying to conceive. You’re going for it. It’s actually really liberating not having to worry about birth control for once. You and your partner are sharing this fun, exhilarating secret, and you’re focused on the moment. Have fun!
The novelty of your decision to conceive–and all that contraception-free sex–has begun to wear off. You’ve been trying for what feels like a while, although it may only be a few weeks or months. You thought that pregnancy just happened for people without much effort. Instead, some of this is feeling like a chore.
It’s time to do your homework. Some people might conceive without really trying, but you want to know what’s going on with your body and learn how to maximize your chances of conceiving. You might read a book or two, scour the web, or read articles in fertility apps (like this one!). You go back to the task of getting pregnant with renewed focus and understanding, timing intercourse when you’re most fertile.
You’re doing everything right–at least you think so–and you’re hopeful that the next late period could be the one. You look forward to pregnancy test day and can’t wait to see if you’re expecting.
Maybe your period came, or that pregnancy test was negative. Whatever it was, you aren’t sure you believe it. Maybe you’ll try again in a few days to see if the result has changed.
So you aren’t pregnant this cycle. Maybe you haven’t gotten pregnant in a few cycles. It’s beginning to bum you out. You’re starting to have doubts about your fertility, but there’s no way you’re giving up.
You’re still trying, but you’re getting annoyed and impatient. Everywhere you look, it seems like women are just getting pregnant “by accident,” or without any trouble. Celebrity pregnancies are on every magazine cover you see. You notice pregnant women on the street or in stores much more often. Why isn’t it your turn?
You do even more research and look for the thing that could be preventing you from conceiving. You’re more willing than ever to try a new diet or exercise program, and you’re considering seeing a fertility specialist.
Now here’s where the stages of trying to conceive often split: you get pregnant, or you don’t. It’s important to remember that your self-worth is based on a lot more than your fertility, so although it can be a difficult and emotionally trying time, you will make it through.
Maybe you’ve been trying to conceive for months or years. The constant ups and downs are exhausting. People mean well by giving you advice, but they don’t understand. Sometimes you feel like you can’t keep doing it. Now’s the time when it’s most important to talk to a healthcare professional, as an underlying fertility issue could be the cause.
You finally did it! All of your effort and worrying and hoping was worth it. You can hardly believe it. In fact, you wait a few days and try a few pregnancy tests to make absolutely sure that it’s real. On to the next big stage: pregnancy.