Baby is getting older, and as they grow, their attention span is growing, too. Before this age, if you’d tried to use a time-out as discipline, it’s likely Baby would have run away from the time-out area, not understanding why they are there, and leaving you feeling even more frustrated than when you started. However, as they begin to understand cause and effect, if you want to use time-outs as a parenting strategy, now might be a good time to consider starting. There are many different ways to approach setting boundaries, and it’s also okay if this strategy isn’t for you! This article goes over nine other choices recommended by pediatric experts.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, in order for a time-out to work for a toddler, the time-out should happen as soon as the behavior you’re trying to discourage happens. This increases the chances that Baby will understand the connection between whatever it is that they have been doing and their period of time. While they may not fully understand the reasoning behind the time-out, make it your goal to use it as an opportunity to stop the negative behavior and to allow them the chance to change gears.
Time-outs can be an effective strategy in modifying inappropriate behaviors and actions, but if they’re going to serve their intended purpose, they’ve got to be doled out and discussed in an age-appropriate way.
Time-Out Tips
- Be straightforward: Letting Baby know it’s time for a time-out doesn’t have to be a battle. Explain to them very briefly why they need some time away from that activity. For example, if they often disobey you by climbing on the counter and lashing out when you ask them to stop, it’s time to remove them from the situation. Something as simple as “it’s dangerous to climb on the counter” may help them to understand the reasoning and give them the opportunity to engage in other activities.
- Time it right: In addition to enforcing the time-out as the behavior occurs, it’s equally important to ensure you’re setting aside the right amount of time for Baby‘s level of development. If a time-out is too long, children who haven’t developed that long of an attention span yet will have a hard time connecting the punishment with the crime. Typically, a good rule of thumb is one minute per year of Baby‘s life, so don’t aim for more than a minute or two for now.
- Be selective: If Baby has been fussy all day, but is otherwise not breaking the rules, it’s probably not the right scenario for a time-out. Toddlers get upset for all sorts of reasons, but time-out should be reserved for modifying a behavior that is either dangerous or combative. Giving too many time-outs can make them less effective later, as repeated use of them lessens their impact.
- Provide reassurance: Time-outs for little ones shouldn’t be isolating or scary. Stay with them and let them know they’re a great kid who needs to redirect to another activity or make a different decision next time. Model deep breathing and calmness yourself. Some older advice suggests ignoring your child during a time-out, but this often causes a child to get more upset and escalate. Once the time-out has ended, give Baby a hug and let them know that you’re proud of them.
Sources
- “How to give a time-out” healthychildren. American Academy of Pediatrics, November 15 2018. Web.
